Rest my adored one, my Sophia –

You went to bed so early tonight, in fact, you have slept much of the last few days because you are ill; I hate it when you are because I can do nothing about it except try to make you feel better (I am told I am not a very good nurse at times) and protect you from that which would harm you (illness is something I seem to have no power over).

As you sleep, I have come to sit on the back porch and rest and ponder the day and try to determine how I will boost your spirits tomorrow as we slowly nurture you back to your normal self. It is slightly overcast tonight, the full moon behind a haze, but not so much a real haze; difficult to explain, but it is like your eyes are some mornings when you first awaken, your eyes frosted over for just a few seconds.

Even under this frosty haze of moonlight on this cool November night, I see the one remaining yellow rose in your flower garden. I noticed it’s solitary beauty earlier today and am amazed that even in the cold of this night, even under the fogginess of the light of this moon, it is still brilliant in it’s beauty. This realization brings tears to my soul’s eyes as I think of you.

The realization that has come to my attention in fullness is that even though you are ill and have been for days, there has not been a single moment when you have failed to let me know how much you love me. There has not been one minute, even as you fell asleep with your fever, when you have when your spirit has loosened its grip upon my heart; your last words before you fell asleep tonight were, “I love you, is it ok if I go to sleep and we can talk in the morning?” you have no idea how many times you humble me before the beauty of your soul.

So sleep my precious angel, rest and be better tomorrow. Yes, we will talk tomorrow and I will listen with the ears of adoration which are due you. I will see you through the eyes of love that are totally biased to see only your beauty, your gentleness, your affection and the truth you tenderly salve upon me each day. I do not know why God found me worthy to be in your life, but I am glad he did. I suppose He knew that I would love you as few women have ever been loved and that He would bind us in His spirit always And, I suppose He knew that I would love you without change until the universe grinds to a stop one day.. Sleep my love, sleep, I love you.


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My beloved and loving Sophia -

Did you hear my heart beat last night as you lay your head on my chest to go to sleep? Did you hear it calling your name with each beat?

When you reached over to hold my hand just before sleep claimed you for the night did you feel the warmth of my soul? Did you feel it reaching for you in the middle of the night?

Just at the moment you went to sleep did you feel my kiss on your forehead and my whisper to you? A whisper to remind you, "That no other woman in the world is loved more than you are by me?"

It is cold tonight, an early winter night, and we are warmly tucked beneath what feels like 85 woolen blankets you have upon the bed. You are warmly bound in the lavender flannel gown that keeps you so warm. You are already asleep, yet I linger awake just a few minutes more. In those few minutes I feel your warmth against my side as I hold you close to me; I feel your breath upon my chest, gentle and steady in the darkness.

So many days and moments of love I recall that we have shared and I feel myself wanting to weep from the joy of knowing; of knowing that "No other man in the world is loved more than I am by you."

I know that some day the sky will fall, the sun will fail, and the stars will (one by one) blink out of existence; but at this moment it is Eternity and in this eternity there is nothing else in the universe except you and me and the love we feel for one another. Sleep well my precious darling, I love you.

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Sophia, my beautiful, my beloved –

Tell me; in how many ways can I say to you, “I love you!” - please tell me. I do not want to leave any one of them unsaid, either with my lips or with my soul. When you wake in the morning, before you even have time to open your eyes, I want you to feel the love I have for you. As you go through your day, no matter what happens, I want you to remember that my love is with you, never faltering for forgetting. When you go to sleep at night, I want the last thought you have to be of the love my soul feels for you. Even when you sleep, in your dreams, know that I am there loving you my darling.

Do you know that from the first time I said “I love you” until this very moment there has never been a time when I have not loved you? There has never a time when I did not go through the day feeling this ever-present love for you in my thoughts, in my actions, in every thing I do. There has never been a time where I did not feel your love for me as I made decisions, large and small, that would influence everything from what I had for lunch to life altering events.

You are my world, my life, you are that there is. I do not remember what life was like before I fell in love with you, it seems like another lifetime. I do not remember what I wanted from life before; since I fell in love with you I only want you, that is all my life needs to be complete.

Last night, I asked you to sing me to sleep and you laughed because you do not like your voice singing, but I love it. I lay there with my eyes closed as you sang that little song I like so much, the one about the boat, and smiled in my heart thinking about how lucky I am to be the object of such love as you give to me. So please, if I haven’t forgotten some way in which to tell you “I love you,” remind me my wonderful one; I don’t want to let anyone of them go unmentioned. You are the light in my eyes, the beat of my heart, you are all life and happiness and I love you more than I can say.


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Sophia, my precious and beloved Sophia –

I have never known if you fell in love with me because of my golden heart or my silver tongue (yes, I am being facetious), but there are times when my normal ability to verbally describe things in exacting detail fails me. Those times, without exception, are when I try to tell you how much I love you, how much I adore you, how worthless my life would be without you in it – I might as well be a mute when those things happen. The words I can find are nowhere nearly sufficient to tell you these things.

Earlier this evening I sat out back as I am prone to do most nights (must be my rural upbringing), and I heard the song of the frogs at night. It is not so much a song as a constant sound of the night and it reminded me of you and the love you give me without cease and without fail. It too is not so much a song as it is a constant. It is your gentle hand on my brow and your tender words in my ear. More than anything else, it is the serenity of spirit you bring upon me in times of turmoil.

I don’t know if I have ever told you or not, so let me tell you this now. Let me tell you in words that I can master and you can understand. In this life, I have never met another woman like you, one who would be your equal. In fact, I lived most of my life not knowing there could be a woman like you. This is the honesty of my heart speaking to you because I want you to know and never doubt how I feel about you. No angel of Heaven could be more beautiful of face or of spirit than you are to me, it would not be possible. No dream, waking or sleeping, could be more complete than you are in the reality of my day.

I love you.

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My Sophia, my love eternal -

Never again will I see the sun setting over water and not feel the passion of your love for me; not after watching you cry from the shear beauty of that act of nature. The beauty that fills your soul is, I have found over time, immeasurable. This single, simple act of the sun lowering itself into water, extinguishing itself for the day, moved you so deeply. I don’t know if you were moved by the beauty of the scene or if you were moved by the fact that the sun would not see things in the darkness; it does not matter, your tears were sincere and beautiful. As I held you close to me we said not a word and I did not attempt to wipe the tears from your face; tears of love and of joy are supposed to stay there.

Never will you hear the cello again in the same way. You virtually forced me to go to that concert the other night, knowing how much I hate leaving our humble home after dark. Once we there and I quit fussing and that funny looking young man began to play, I was moved beyond anything I have ever known. With every note he played I felt my heart, my soul being extracted and attached to your heart and soul; by the time he finished playing that first song I belonged to you as I never had. Is that the first time you had seen me cry? Were you surprised? You held my hand in a way you never had and I knew we had crossed a new threshold in our love for one another.

Surely, a God who is kind and loving will not limit us to just one lifetime, how piteous that would be. For I have found that one lifetime will not nearly be enough to give to you all the love I feel, I do not know how many it will take to accomplish that feat. Now that I have seen your depth and felt my own, I realize that Life and all of Time is required of us both to finish this job and to carve our names in the annals of the great loves of this Universe.


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My Sophia, my love unrivaled -

Clouds were building as I left town and I probably should have stayed there in the hotel for the night, but I wanted so badly to come home to you. The morning had been sunny and beautiful so I had walked the three miles to town that perfect fall day; I had no idea it would be flooding by dark. About halfway home it began to rain and all I could do was put one muddy foot in front of the other and think of you as I trudged my way back to you. I walked listening to the rain as it fell on and about me and I swear as it did, I could hear its steady tattoo sounding out your name.

By the time I reached our front door I was soaked and muddy and grudgingly undressed on the porch. You had seen me coming from a distance and met me at the door with a warm towel and laughter. Still damp I stepped through the door into our living room as you dried me; and as I felt you attending to me with your loving hands, I could smell the lemon-scented air from the kitchen as you baked for me.

Sitting in front of the hearth warming, I heard you singing from the next room; your voice was ascending in an almost mystic tone. Drawn to you, I took your hand as you sang of a small boat and hope and dreams and love that lived without limits and without end and thought of how we were reborn to a new life everyday. I realized the depth of what we are and understood why I am not afraid of the rain.

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It is cloudy and cool today, a perfect afternoon for a nap, so I did lay down for awhile but found I could not find sleep. Restlessness was not the problem. In fact, the truth of the matter is there was no problem. No; I just found myself doing inventory of sorts and I thought I should tell what I found in that process.

You have given me your body, people do that everyday, sometimes even if they don’t even like each other. No, you have given me your body in a special way though; as if it is mine not only to enjoy and covet, but to hold and own as my possession. Don’t get me wrong, I am appreciative of your body. It is fair, pristine, beautiful and perfect in every way and I love it as I love you; but it is not at the top of the list.

More importantly, I found that indeed you have given me your heart to possess. It is a fine heart too. Filled with love and tenderness, compassion and beauty, it is a rarity in today’s world of cynical minds. You do not know how many times that pure and perfect heart of yours has changed my day, forced me to be calm when I didn’t want to, just from watching you.

Many things of beauty I found when doing this inventory that kept me from going to sleep. Your soul holds many things that are precious and rare – love for your fellow man, sure-footed faith, tears for children you don’t even know, active sympathy for men and women who have seen the harder parts of life; the list goes on and on.

Most of all, however, I find that you have given me your love. You have not loaned it to me so that you can reclaim it at some future date. You do no withdraw it on my bad days when I don’t even love myself. You do not alter it by fad or fashion. No; you just love me and keep loving me. I hear people talk about eternity and what it means to them. I believe God has given us to each other’s keep for that duration, because when I inventory your love for me, it seem to have no indication of end.

I could not go to sleep without telling you this. Sometimes you ask me if I know you love me; I do. Today, this inventory has forced me to look more intently at that which I find. So let me say, I do know how much you love me; I am amazed.

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Sleep my loving and tender Sophia -

You were so sleepy last night, lying in my arms trying to stay awake, trying to tell me things about your day, trying to tell me your dreams, trying to tell me over and over how you love me. At times your voice was so sleepy I could barely make out the words, at times you were on the cusp of wakefulness and sleep, at times telling me to hurry or I would miss the bus, at times telling me of visions that were there before your waking eyes; but mostly telling me how much you love me.

Then you fell asleep in my arms, mumbling and muttering, saying “I love you” one last time like it might be the last time your lips could utter that sound or that my ears would be able to hear them. But my love, that can never be, you know that as well as I do; our words have been chiseled into the stone of Time itself, and though others might question them, we do not. My soul will pursue yours throughout forever’s forever and yours will pursue throughout the endlessness of eternity.

In a few minutes I will come lie down and even in sleep you will come to me as if you hear my voice in your very dreams. You will put your arm over my chest and rest your heart in my heart. Tonight, my head hurts, my back hurts, and sometimes my soul hurts; but my heart does not hurt, for it is in your care. You lavish me with such love that all temporal matters vanish like fog on a bright winter’s morning, troubles becoming even less than a memory.

So sleep now my love, sleep in the beauty of what our souls have created in this life; sleep in the purity of that holy conception. Sleep in the full clarity of Us. I love you.


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My rare and beautiful Sophia, my love -

Tonight, I am sitting here looking over the back lawn into the woods beyond. I am looking past the pecan trees, the pear and peach trees, beyond the rabbits and the raccoons that gather for their nightly feast. I am looking past life and reality to a greater life and a greater reality. In the background, I hear music inside; you are sitting in front of the fireplace listening to saxophone music, so soothing, but I am hearing you sing that little song that you sing to me every night. It makes me smile.

Tonight, I think about your voice, soft and tender, speaking to my ear and to my heart with words earnest and sincere. In my life I have learned many truths, I have sought them out and learned them; but from you I have learned there is a truth beyond truth, I have learned there is unsought truth. It is the kind that sweeps in on the wind, shaking leaves from trees, warming the heart, touching the soul.

Tonight, I am trying to remember Time before I met you, it is difficult to do, I’m sure that a great deal of it did not matter. The only thing that matters now is you and the love I feel from you. I am a common man, but a common man to be envied by kings, if they only knew – I do know. I think I will leave outdoors to the rabbits and raccoons and go inside and listen to saxophone and see if you would care to dance and sing with me this night my love.


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Sophia - My darling, my love

I find I can do nothing but think of you today in such depth that I am consumed by these thoughts. I hear your voice on the wind, see your face in the light and shadows about me, feel you in my very heart. There are times when the weight of this feeling is almost too heavy to bear, even in the joy that it brings.

As the dove coos its 3-note cry, I hear your voice calling to me in the night; you are so tired you can hardly speak, yet you force the energy to say ‘I love you’ one more time. The struggle and desperation of your effort touches my heart, it is like you will die in your sleep if you do not speak the words one more time. And although I am holding you so close that we are like one flesh, when I hear this I hold you even closer in my own desperation; fearful that if I do not pull you ever closer you might vanish in the night.

When the morning comes and the fresh and gentle light of the new day greets my eyes, I am joyous in finding you still curled within my grasp. I clutch you softly to my side and you awake, just a little for just a moment, just long enough to say ‘I love you’ again, just in case I forgot during the night, just in case the gods should steal your voice before you lips could form the sound again. As you do, a smile captures your face and you return to sleep, placing your face upon my chest, feeding upon my heart beat as I feed upon the touch of your hair.


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Sophia gentle and precious

Tonight we are apart, but the miles cannot separate our hearts or the truth of us or the pure and complete love that exists between us and resides among the stars of the night. In the mists of this night, our vision is not clouded, but is as clear as the breaking of the new day.

During this late night hour I sit quietly under the half moon (whose light is paled by the light of your beauty) and see the dew form on the grass - I feel the light breeze of late night - I hear the small creatures of the night quietly practicing the commerce of life as a small creature. In the midst of this uncomplicated night I am profoundly reminded of the passion we share with such ease. We are as honeysuckle clinging gently but firmly to the tall pine that rises from the forest.

As I close my eyes to sleep this night, it will be your face I see, not only in my waking but in my sleeping. Dreams of you are so normal that I am shocked when I have sleep and they do not appear, after all this time your face does not leave me as I sleep, just as your love does not leave me when I am away from your vision.

So sleep soundly tonight my love, my thoughts are holding you as tightly as my arms and your whisper is touching my face as gently as your fingertips in the shadows before dawn. I rejoice in being half of this which heaven has created and our Father has blessed with his smile. We rest as a creation of the love that consumes us afresh each day, ever changing but always the same.

When dawn comes, I may still be sitting here; waiting to hear your voice on the breeze and feel your gentle touch in the rising sun, thinking that if these stones could speak, the story they would tell of us and the world would be astounded.

Sleep my precious and beloved Sophia –

In the middle of the night, while you sleep, I lie here and look at you with thoughts of love and wonder filling my head. But, when the words find my tongue they often taste as seawater, salty and incomplete. They are the bloody mouthed taste of a school yard brawl on a cloudy November day,
the swirl of breeze that carries emotions through life as dry leaves in the fall, or as a small nameless bird of immense beauty who dies on the wing and falls lifeless to the ground.

Accept my offering - it is the rising of Venus, of Aphrodite, on a dark and cloudless morning, it is the purity of an infant's sigh, it is God glancing toward you with a small, warm smile on His face. Only my love can I offer you, I have nothing else, there is nothing else that would serve as a worthy gift or sacrifice to lay at your feet, at the doorway of your heart.

What touch can I find that has not been shared between us? Which flower of color so original can I offer to you that is not shamed by your beauty? Which words can I say to you that have not been spoken? Can I just say, that I love you? Will you believe me when I tell you that if some unknown ogre chained me forever in a cave in a mountain at the top of the world, that I would still love you as I did the first time I loved you?

I love you. I hold you in my heart and in my soul. Every minute of every day since I met you; it never changes, it never will. So sleep as I sit here and watch you dream. Soon I will sleep too, and I will then dream of sitting and watching you sleep. There is no room left in my soul for thoughts of anything but you.

Come to me beloved Sophia and rest –

Put your head on my shoulder and your hand on my heart as I hold your hand with my hand and wrap my right arm around you so tightly; holding you so closely that your skin and my skin are wed into a single thing. You rest your foot on my leg and your hair is a mist upon my face.

The love between us is a Spring storm, powerful and bright; the gentle touch between us the heat of a white star; the whispers we share are the vastness of the entire universe – it is that way every night my precious love, never changing but to deepen.

Tonight, when I whispered to you that I loved you, it reached a part of you that was more profound than we had ever known. You did not speak a word, you did not move a single muscle – but I felt your teardrops falling upon my chest; in their warmth I felt your own truth and sincerity. In the darkness, our hands and our hearts clasp in unity to form a place of worship.

We will not dry them, that would be profane. Instead they will soak into my skin and find their way to my soul where they will abide forever, just as our love will abide in the stars for mankind to always remember. There are no questions to answer, no words need to be said; it is what it is my beloved.


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My Sophia, small and delightful –

Morning’s sun is rising over the oaks and pines as I sit and watch the day begin at the edge of our garden. Bright red birds flutter and sing at the joy of the return of light and life to the day. It’s color is almost the same as the brilliant orange canna you planted next to our window; you said you did that so that even on cloudy days we will rise to the color of the sun. Artistic and meaningful are the small grace notes you add to the life we live.

Inside, you are asleep, you small and perfect body curled in slumber as you clutch my pillow in my early morning absence. You are so small and the universe is so large; how have I managed to completely fill it with you my love? To me, the known universe resides in the gold within your eyes, within the softness of your hand, the tenderness in your voice when you tell me how much you love me. There is nothing outside those things, and if those things such cease to be, the universe would collapse in on itself.

For my breakfast I am having tomatoes from our garden, picked by your hands last evening and rough bread of corn which I baked for you last night. As I watch the beginning of the day I realize that from your eyes, from your heart, comes the perfection that is every star at night, in every vein of every leaf, every sound of laughter from every child ever born.

Then I will be off to my business for the day, returning tonight. During each moment of the day I will wonder how the universe is managing to stay intact while I am away from your presence, how is it that life continues without being able to look into your eyes, realizing how mundane are all things that occur in this world that do not involve loving you.

So small, how have you managed to fill the entire universe my beloved Sophia?


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My life and my breath, my precious Sophia –

In this darkness, I watch you sleep my wonderful love. I do not watch you with my eyes, but with the beat of my heart and the tips of my fingers. The gentleness of your heart surpasses even the softness of your skin, something which my senses as a man do not always comprehend. Your heart overflows with forgiveness for all who wrong you, even the scoundrels who neither deserve nor ask for clemency; so great is your heart.

Sleep my beautiful woman; sleep in the safety of my arms that hold you as surely as you hold my heart. Wake to a morning that is as gentle as the fog that will float upon the water at dawn. Sleep knowing that you were born for me and wake knowing that I was born for you. We were born, not in the momentary weakness of the flesh, but in the divine strength of the soul.

With marvel we have seen tomorrow, tasted of its richness, felt its fullness. Laying in the darkness this night, I would wake you to tell you my certainty of all these things, but I know how weary you are. It is now quiet as a chapel in the middle of the night and I will comfort myself with a kiss upon your brow and the smile that comes to your face my precious. I love you with more than words can say and you love me more fiercely than even my imagination can envision. We will not yield to tempest.

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My heart and my soul, my Sophia -

Tonight I sit outside in the cooling light breeze of this late summer night. Still not risen is the crescent moon that will soon be born of the night; for now, only the stars and the brightness of the love you give me lighting my night.

You are sleeping inside as I sit in peace out here, thinking of the great gift God has given to me by putting your hand into mine. Each day of my life I wonder how much sacrifice he will require of me in return for this greatest favor He has bestowed upon me - whatever it is, I will pay it gladly. I will pay it in return for you smiling face, your laughter, your love and, yes, even the tears you occasionally shed upon my shoulder.

Without any doubt you know of my love for you, it is so obvious it cannot be hidden or even shown to you in diminished fashion. Still, I search daily for another word, another phrase to tell you how deeply I feel for you. It is a depth that is rarely felt and never properly measured; it defies measurement or description.

So, in your dreams tonight, feel my love for you. When the new day begins feel my love for you in your waking dream. I will never fail to love you, it would not be possible. My love for you will last as long as Time exists, for as long as there is breath or thought or dream; beyond the measure of man will I love you. My precious Sophia, I simply love you as I ought to do - without measure, without fail, without limit.

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My most wonderful Sophia, my Aphrodite and my Venus, my beautiful love -

Surely God birthed our souls on the same day, at the same moment, and placed our souls and our hearts together to hold onto to one another until one day after all Time comes to an end. I am yours and you are mine, always.

You have dampened the fires that burned in me, fires that had long tortured my existence, all that time I was seeking you and now I have found you and the only fire that burns within me is the fire that burns for you. It is a fire lighted on an altar I had never known, a light I had sought but never seen. Your gift to my life has been this and will abide with me always and forever.

I have swallowed your tears, the ones that sometimes flow from you like a great river, it has tortured your existence, all that time I have been here to hold onto your soul and dry your tears, from your eyes and from your soul. It is a gift that I give to you; I care only for you wholeness, your healing, and your happiness. I offer this without reservation or condition. This has been my gift to your life and it will abide with you always and forever.

You are my precious and I am your baby, that is how it was destined and that is how it shall be; the Father will determine that path and the steps we take upon it. We will only walk and hold each other in love as we go. What we are, what we become is spiritually set and will not change, we will love each other forever, as it was ordained for us my beautiful love.

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Sophia my beautiful lover -

On autumn nights, when the weather is cool, we sit outside around a fire we have built to stay warm. We talk until our voices are slurred and our thoughts are lost, just to hear the other's voice; we fight sleep as an enemy because we do not want those minutes of our life stolen by unconsciousness. When morning comes, we find ourselves clutching one another closely, to fight off the cold and to feel the closeness with our bodies that lives in our minds.

People, at least some of them, think we are silly sometimes, when you come and sit in my lap like a little girl and I in turn rock you as I hold you and kiss you without shame or hesitation. We hold hands as we walk through their parties of sophistication, lost to everyone in the crowd except each other. The light of the moon at night is the only illumination we need, other than the light of love that shines in our eyes.

Some days we fuss; you like to see me a "little mad" at times and I sometimes like to get you a bit "wound up;" we fight, just a little, so that we can make up. But on nights when you are ill I do not fail you and on days when I am weak you do not fail to strengthen me. And people ask themselves, some even ask us, how can this miraculous thing have happened and we honestly tell them that we don't know. All we know, or will ever know, is that we love each now and we will love each other then.

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My gentle and lovely Sophia–

I find myself waking to the muted early light, making its way into our bedroom in a most languid manner this morning. You are still sleeping, curled tightly against me as you are every morning; I feel the texture of your hair on my chest and the warmth of your body against mine. My heart is overcome with the way you touch me my precious love.

You do touch me so – but it is not just the silken touch of your body against mine in the dark of night. With your heart and your soul you have touched me so deeply that I am a changed man, never could I ever be that which I was before; whatever that was, for I do not remember what I was before you touched me with your spirit so true. As you have held me in the touch of your hands, your unseen wings have silently carried me to places of love that I never knew existed.

And I know I too have touched you my love, I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. So come, rest your head on my shoulder and leave any pain of the day upon my chest, there is no rush to arise this morning my beautiful lover. As you have touched me with your soul, touch me with your body and let our pleasures number as the stars upon a clear fall night.

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My Sophia, my constant thought –

The day has begun and is so often the case I find myself sitting on the back porch waiting for the sun to rise while you continue to occupy the land of dreams, sleeping as peacefully as a small child. My wait is rewarded with the first ray of sun accompanied by one long bird graciously singing in the new day. It is then I fully recognize that I am of single thought, the thought of your prevails over all else. The thought of your all encompassing beauty of body and mind and spirit, one single thought in my mind you.

You think I am either a liar (at best) or mentally disturbed (at worst) because I tell you that every night my dreams are filled with you; but it is the truth. I do not remember the last night when I did not dream of you, a simple truth. My mind is so singularly filled with you that even in my sleeping state; I must continue to think of you almost constantly. Only you have driven the demons from my waking self and the nightmares of my sleeping self, only you.

Recently, we were talking, about us and life; suddenly you looked at me and said, “This is real.” Yes, it is real my precious beloved, it is as real as the stars that shine down at night and the heat of a summer’s day. What we feel is real, what we dream is real, and the blessing we have been given in one another is real. We are real; as surely as the simplicity of that first ray of sunlight I love you - as surely as the notes sung by that lone songbird you love me - we are real. We have made ourselves real and we have made ourselves true.

Bright morning sun now peeks into the world, revealing a brilliant orange rose in your garden, I will pick it and place it on your pillow for when you awaken. I will return and lie by your side so that when you wake, the rose and I will be there to welcome you to another day my love.

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Sophia, my beauty and my love –

In the middle of the night, your voice calms me as a tender melody. When my soul is raging, at war with itself, the mercy of your spirit brings it to a place of peace. Your affection floods me like the first full light of morning. The very thought of you fills me with every breath I take. What have I ever done to deserve such love? Why has the Father chosen to bless me so?

In the darkness I sit and I hear the song of the night bird, frogs singing love songs to one another, and the sound of the wind in the trees. But, at a deeper level, I hear the sound of the sap coursing through the veins of the leaves on my pear tree, I feel the light of a distant star gently touching my face, and I sense your thoughts as you send your deepest love to me.

Tonight, I anoint myself with oil consecrated by thoughts from your heart and words from your lips. Tonight, I light a candle, no, not one, but three, and ask the Father’s blessing upon them all; their light and thought made holy within the loving palm of His hand. Tonight, I feel the vastness of love - how have you taken me to such heights? I love you my Sophia, without doubt or hesitation, completely.

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My beautiful and wonderful Sophia –

It was on a sunny afternoon when you asked me “that question.” Though said in jest, it brought my heart to its knees. You were not feeling well and I had brought you tea while you rested in bed. As I walked into the room, I asked where the honey was, and, as women often do, you said, “My God, what would you do if I were not here tomorrow?” I felt the cup drop from my hand and tears roll from my eyes; what indeed would I do.

You were amazed; as much as we loved each other, I don’t think it had ever occasioned to you the absolute depth of my love and my need for you. What would I do; I would surely die I suppose, because life would have no meaning at all to me. It caused me to remember winters when I was a child. The sound of grown men walking in heavy winter boots always fascinated me; as they walked up on the mix of ice and snow the sound always made me think of tiny bones being crushed beneath their stride, I hated the sound. Now, I felt life’s boot crunching atop me as if I were a small creature, unseen in the ice and snow on a winter's morning..

You think I would find someone else – I would not; there is only one you. You think I would “remember” you; you are me and I am you, it would be remembering of the most painful sort. You think a great many things would happen, they would not. Nothing at all would happen; I would simply sit down and one day, forget to breathe again.

Please Sophia, do not ever go away; do not leave me, do not die before I do, do not vanish into the night never to be seen again. I was speechless at that moment, I am speechless now. What would I do? What indeed, I would surely die I suppose; because a person cannot live without their heart and you have mine completely.

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My Sophia, beautiful and eternal –

We were awake so late last night with only a few hours of sleep as we held each other desperately through the night. Now, we share with the soft half-light of dawn this morning - it is so gentle, so beautiful. In the moments just before the first rays of sunlight fight their way through the thick boughs of pine, the cardinals serenade us to the new day. In their song I hear your words of love, of devotion, the songs of forever love.

Which is softer of you – your touch, your word, your love for me? I don’t know. All I do know is that you have changed that which lives within me forever and for good. You take a rough pile of Life and sculpt it and texture it into something with thoughts of tenderness, thoughts of such true love and thoughts of Hope that I did not know existed. The hands of your soul have the light touch of a goddess – deny it in modesty if you must, I will understand, but know the truth.

Sitting here, looking over the top of my ragged coffee cup as it steams into my face, I watch you smiling with your eyes closed as you listen to the pure sweet notes of the songbirds about us. As you do, I can see my soul with eyes closed listening to the sweet notes of your soul singing always to mine. When I am at my worst, you are at your best, a calm word within the storm, a place of peace within tumult, an oasis of love when life is filled with only burning desolation.

For what do I owe you? For what do I not? Every time we touch I feel the love that has existed between us since the beginning of time and which shall exist until time ceases to be – I am thankful that we found each other again as we have done forever my love. I will hold you close to me through the ages, but for today, place your heart within my heart and know the love I feel for you at the rising of this sun.


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My precious peach Sophia –

Every day of my life is so different now, I cannot even remember how it was before. With each day of my life, I find I am captured again and again by the love you bestow upon me. With each day of my life, my heart is taken anew by you, always to places deeper than I even knew existed. Until now, I find myself so completely lost in you that I could never find my way out – nor do I ever want to.

No longer can I look at a flower or a cloud or even a drop of rain the same – now they all mean something more meaningful to me, all because of you. The wind feels different to me now, even the air that I breathe is sweeter.

You are given to me and in that way I find that I am given to you. It must surely be that you have bewitched me my precious love; for I am totally under the spell that I hear whenever your lips move, completely captivated by the innocent truth of your heart. I am enraptured by your very being – I am born anew into this life each day by that single word you speak to me.

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My treasured gift Sophia –

My treasured gift Sophia –

You tell me you are not perfect; but there are indeed times when I forget. See, I have a rather unique perspective of you; and, while my rational mind knows you are merely human, the “living” part of my mind perceives you in a completely different light.

On an autumn day, I was reborn into this life. God caused my soul to stir and reopened my eyes to Life. When they became open and focused, there you were, serving as midwife to all things I have come to hold precious. In that moment of birth, I saw with clarity all things of beauty and grace, of purity and sincerity, of humble gifts, and all other things of value in this world; I saw them all in that nascent moment when, for one brief moment, I was allowed to gaze at your true Soul.

Staggered by you, by this understanding of Life that I had forgotten, I find myself so often overwhelmed that I sometimes do not know how to receive it or how to act. But, you understand me. In times when my soul is in storm, you calm my tempestuousness with a single word from your lips. Your love for me unfaltering is the rebirth of my Soul, and each day I pray that I am worthy of your gift. You are my most precious love – you are simply my Sophia.


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My precious beloved Sophia –

As it often does, Spring brings stiff winds to push and shove on everything around us. It woke me with its howling and moaning. last night. When I became more fully awake, however, I found it was not only the wind which had wakened me, but your tears and the sound of you crying in your sleep.

Your head was on my chest as you slept, as it is every night. I could feel the wetness of your tears against my skin in the darkness; and, even though you did not awaken, I could hear the light moans come from your lips as you cried. I did not disturb you, only held you close to me to offer you comfort in your sleeping my most precious woman.

Others only see you smiling and hear your daily refrains of care and uplifting for those around you. They never see the clouds forming in your eyes before this storm begins, nor should they.

Only I am allowed to see you cry, only I am allowed to hold you close and try to comfort your soul. It would be vanity on my part to believe that I could ever heal this wound, it is old and it is deep, and I am not a vain man.

But, before you and before God I have vowed to be forever loyal to you and hold you when you cry – you know that I have never failed you in the past and He knows I will never fail you in the future. My love for you is too complete to ever fail you.


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Sophia, my most beloved -

When you look into a mirror, do you see what I behold each day? Do you see the beauty that radiates from your soul or the loving heart beating inside you my love? Probably not – your modesty prevents you from seeing what the rest of us see and adore in you.

For so long I have felt the love of your heart, the great and pure love that it holds for all mankind, that I cannot see your face without viewing your soul. And even when storms pass through your eyes, the sunrise that follows is even more bright than the day before.

As gently as streams gurgle down the mountainside do you adjudge those about you, not washing them away, but scouring away their imperfections to make them as shiny and new. Your heart is so full of forgiveness for acts large and small; all who know you are better for the association. You are the Halcyion Days of life's winter.

Your voice is the voice of doves in the evening, your eyes the gold of the setting sun and though, like everyone who has ever lived, your beauty has been hidden at times, it has never been sullied or diminished. Your beauty and your love have been as constant as the Moon rising in winter over the frozen land. "If I know love in this life, it is because of you." Once you spoke those words to me, but it is me whose heart bears that thought each day my most precious and beloved Sophia.

The love you give to me with every breath is a gift that originated in the hand of God, flowing through you and into my heart.

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Sophia, my Solace –

Last night my mind was running in so many circles, confusion and dismay controlling my every thought and each of those darkening thoughts coming from within my own self-doubts. Late into the night I lay there with those dark things flying about in my head.

I did not move in our bed, I didn’t want to wake you and trouble you with these things; my nightmares, both waking and asleep. But, I should have known better; I should have known that even in sleep I could not hide from you. That is why in the middle of the long, dark night you awakened, gently but suddenly, and told me to put my mind at rest. And I did, as if by your tender command things dark vanished into the bright light of Love shining on them and giving them no place to hide and take root.

You pulled yourself closer to me in the darkness and touched my face so gently with your hand. I closed my eyes to enjoy the softness of your certain touch. And now, as I drift off to sleep, a sleep that will be filled with only pleasant dreams, I hear your beautiful voice singing one of your favorite songs; music gives you such pleasure and tonight your gentle refrains are my lullaby. Within your voice I hear your heart speaking to me, calming me, loving me – my Sophia, my Sophia.

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My Sophia, my precious Sophia -

Yesterday it seemed the entire world conspired against me; leaving me feeling hollow and alone, distraught and near anger. I am ashamed that I took all of these things and brought them home with me to present them to you in a shameful manner. This is something that will be to my eternal regret and endless feeling of apology to you.

But you, Sophia, you simply looked at me and came and took my hands and kissed them gently. Then you touched my face with you hands, your gentle, gentle hands. You looked into my eyes and said, "I love you, I love you so very much." Then you held me close to you. All troubles vanished, all pain ceased, all hope was restored in all things.

There are times when I am overwhelmed at the very thought that the Father has given you to be in my life. Yet I know we will be together forever, because I recognize that we have already been together forever; you truly are my other half. On all days, good or bad, you never stop loving me. And my precious Sophia, there is never one second of any day that I don't love you with the completeness of the universe, I love you in perfect entirety.

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My bewitching love, my Sophia –

You came to me tonight in such rare fashion, or perhaps it was the phase of the moon, the alignment of the stars, or my own desire for you. Tall and lean, your naked body glowing of lotion and passion as you walked to our bed and set one small white candle on the night stand; then climbed into our bed, and leaned over and kissed me – and we made love throughout the night.

And in your voice, I heard the sound of all creation coming together in a single focused harmony, lifting the mountains and rolling the seas and igniting the stars.

And on your face I saw the movement of all the bright and moving objects in all the heavens as they scurried through the night sky, seeking a place to take rest, burning white hot.

And when your eyes finally opened, I saw the fiery furnaces that forged the foundations of all Time and Space, their heat glowing for all eternity.

And I felt the coolness of a night breeze through an open window and heard the thunder rolling in the distant sky and smelled the freshness of the first grass of Spring underfoot and I knew love – love simple and complete – love given and love shared.

And in that moment, I felt our souls wed forever in the most profoundly sacred unity, one that can never be broken or bruised, one that survives the passage of all things known to man.

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Sophia, Wonderful and Beloved Sophia -

You never cease to amaze me; every time I am sure that my love for you cannot be any more than it is, you expose a new part of yourself that makes me love you more.

As I sit here under the clear night sky of Spring, I look upward and imagine the billions of stars that our Father placed in the sky. For each of those billions of stars, I feel a separate item of love for you. Each night, it seems a new star appears in the heavens, just as each night it seems a new part of your loving heart is opened to me. My soul weeps with joy for the wonders you have taught me of what love is.

Tonight, when I close my eyes, it will be with greater love for you than when I opened them this morning when I rose; and when I rise in the morning, I will love you more than at this moment. What I feel for you is growing beyond what we know as love, it is becoming a substance of such immense and abiding joy that I find no word, in any language, to express it.

Until I find that word, can I just say I love you and hope you understand the depth and width of it – can you accept the outpouring of my heart in openness and honesty and realize that as a mortal man, I cannot express this near God-like feeling – can you believe that there is no other thing in this life that any longer has any meaning to me, other than the meaning it has in reference to you?

I feel you in the very air around me right now; in the breath I am taking, in the wind blowing upon my face, and in the quavering light of the stars above my head. It is difficult for me to believe that anyone has ever loved another human being more than I love you at this moment – if they did, I know they must have turned into stardust and moved on to live in the vast expanse of God’s love that abides above me right now.

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My Sophia, so profoundly beautiful –

Your words come to me, so holy and unprofaned – and through them I alone am made constantly aware of your unflinching beauty.

Your eyes are always so private to the crowd around you, only I see the tear when they pour down your face; only I feel the love for you that is flawless in its intent; only I am given love in return that is unique in this life and so truly profound and unequaled.

Your words, spoken in darkness, are full of light, touching me incessantly, touching me in places whose very existence is unknown to any other. The constancy of your devotion is the air that I breathe and is the very breathe that you then so often taken away.

Your word is my gospel; your sigh my command; your tears filling the holy baptismal font of life itself. When I go to sleep tonight, it will be to dream of you; when I awake, you will be my very life my most precious love.


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My beautiful love Sophia –

Did you see the tears in my eyes this morning? You could not have seen the tears of joy in my soul, but they were flowing so freely because of you, as so often they do. I cannot tell you the intensity of the feelings you bring me; only try to repay them from time to time so that you too experience them.

As I sat this morning, watching you walk the field next to the house (as you often do) I felt the warmth of the sun and the warmth of your love for me, basking in them both. It was then that you surprised me with a handful of wild daisies you had picked from the field – so much like you, beautiful and wild and growing free. You knelt before me and handed them to me, there were tears in your eyes and you lowered your head as you presented them to me and I find myself humbled, humbled and shaking in my body and my soul from loving you.

Daisies, wild and beautiful from a field unseen by others – from my most precious, wild and beautiful and unknown to others with what you do to me, for me. What force of God brought you to me in this life? What debt did life owe me that the payment it made was to bring you to me? I find myself drowning in your love and wishing nothing else that life might have to offer me. All other things seem so trivial.

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Love of all loves, My adored Sophia –

It was with some bit of amusement I observed a number of matronly customers in the store where we shopped today. We were out of town and none of them knew us, but they certainly raised their eyebrows when you asked, as you often do, “Do you love me?” I answered you as I normally do when I said, “Perhaps a little, perhaps.” They did not see your smile as you walked away; they were much to busy glaring at me.

What they do not know is that I love you more than a “little,” and more than a “lot.” There are times when I am quite sure that I love you with all the complexity of every thought that has ever been thought by mankind and with the intensity of God as he created all things.

They do not understand, as you do, that not only are you my breath, but my reason for breathing – not only are you in my thoughts, but you are my thoughts – that I know longer know where I end and you begin. My love for you is totally consuming, just a “little, perhaps.”

As we got back onto the train, they were still glaring at me for having the cheek to tell a beautiful, adoring woman that I loved her “a little, perhaps.” What they could not see was my hand trembling slightly just from the touch of your hand as I helped you up the steps onto the passenger car. Nor could they have known that I most truly do love you, for you are noble and fine, gifted among women with love in your heart and passion in your veins. Perhaps, perhaps, it is more than a “little.”
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My most loved and adored Sophia –

This morning, while you still slept (you are so expert at that some days) I took my coffee and sat on our back porch. The weather was perfect and the pear trees beautiful, covered with millions of tiny white blooms; one of the most incredible sights of the Spring. As I sat there, the Spring wind began to blow and on this day, the pear blossoms were released from their hold to the tree, almost all of them, and for just a moment it seemed a giant snowstorm was falling.

Every year, the pear tree must let go of it’s beautiful blossoms or the fruit of the pear cannot set and provide nourishment and enjoyment. I thought, how like Us that is, Us and Love. The beauty of the blossom must be released for the patient forming of the fruit that will bring Us enjoyment and nourishment through the Fall and Winter.

When I realized that, I offered up a prayer for each of those millions of blossoms that God will in his Providence provide for us through the storms of Spring and the heat of Summer, and that He will use Us, making us fit fruit for the Love He blesses upon the world.

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My waking Sophia –

In this dim light of morning, I lay here watching you slowly awaken to the new day. Arms and legs unfolding from sleep like the leaves of the cypress greeting the sunlight to dry away the dew.

The fire of the morning sun reflects the fire of your soul as your eye lids slowly rise, as slowly as the sun, but just as surely. Finally, your smile appears when you realize you have wakened to another day of being loved – loved as the beloved of my life.

Now, take my hand as we begin the dance of another day – another, where our loves shine as brightly as the summer sun.

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My lovely and divine Sophia –

Again, you have touched me so deeply, I find myself swept off my feet, and it is not yet daylight. I have awakened and find that Spring has arrived. The thought arises in my mind that you have indeed brought Spring into my soul, into my life. You have nurtured my rebirth, my regrowth, and provided sustenance to my very being. God has truly given you such powers that are nothing short of divine.

Quietly I stand in the darkness, looking out the window at the pear trees proudly displaying their new blossoms, so white they shine even in the darkness of the early morning hour. In that brightness I see your smile, hear your laughter and suddenly my soul is brought to its knees in humbleness and praise – you have changed me so, but disturbed nothing within me that is my true self. You have wrought a masterpiece with nothing but the beauty of your soul and the love of your heart.

In the quietness of awe, I find myself making my way back to our bed and where I lie beside you. Careful not to wake you, I hold you close to me in sacred embrace until the sun awakens. Only God will see the dampness in the corners of my eyes as I quietly listen to your breathing and smell the fragrance of your hair.

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My beautiful loving Sophia –

Why do you love me? I asked. You turned and walked away without answering, glancing over your shoulder and smiling as you went. I followed and asked you again. Yet you spoke not. Finally, I told you, “tell me.” With your eyes filled with love, you looked directly into my eyes and said, “No.”

Only one light shines, only one heart beats, only one single burning desire exists; you. I need not know why but I can feel your love in the things you say and I can see it in the things you do.

Come to me, hold me close, share my breath my impassioned love; let our hearts beat as one until – in an instant – all breathing stops. And when it begins again, it is in a world reborn in our passion my beloved.

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My passionate and loving Sophia -

Stars move gently through the early morning hours as I look out the window to the heavens above, not wanting to succumb to sleep just yet. Is it the wine or the intoxication of you that has so completely engulfed me this night? The question itself brings a smile to my face and I know you were the greater of the two my love.

Lying here, my right arm holding you so closely to me, feeling your soft, supple nakedness pressed against mine, I find myself in a state of peace I never want to leave. Your head on my shoulder as your pillow, your arm across my chest and you hand upon my heart - your passion the ember which sparked the first moment of time in the universe.

Listening, I hear the soft and gentle rhythm of your sleeping breath. You muttered yourself to sleep in my arms, repeating "I love you, I love you, I love you over and over until you passed into sleep. Those words, your intent, echoing in my ears and in my heart; I will not sleep tonight and I will never sleep the same again. This moment is heaven and I find that I have been seduced by you at every level where any part of me exists. I am yours my precious and beloved. I am yours......... πάντα

My most precious Sophia –

May I tell you about the great relief I feel when we talk – your voice to my ear is the sound of doves cooing, and, to my soul it is the soothing words of Angels speaking God’s promise to me.

You have so captivated my heart. From your rocky seacoast you have invaded my deep-forest lair and demolished its defenses completely with only a whisper and taken me prisoner for life with only a word.

The depth of what I feel for you has never been measured; it is a brightly lighted abyss of unlimited love and passion. The words describing these feeling have never been spoken, neither by man nor by Angel – they do not yet exist. On a day to be assigned by God, this will be allowed, my soul and yours in perfect communion; until then, accept that I love you dearly, I love you to the end my beloved, to the end.

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My most precious and tender Sophia –

On this long and moonless night, my heart has felt your pain as you will never know; more than I can ever explain. Your breath has become my breath, your heartbeat has become my own, and you cannot cry that I do not taste the saltiness of your tears

If we trust nothing else, we must trust us; trust our love. It will not fail us, and we must never fail it my darling. Because you see, it has no limitation, it has no failure, and it does not have any conditions; we simply love one another. We honor one another with this and we honor Love itself with this. You must understand, and in your heart you already know this, that on that last day, no matter Time or Space, I will still love you as I do today.

We have been so lucky and so blessed my precious; many people are never given the gift we have received and claimed as our own. We have come to understand that it “is a seeking after beauty and wisdom and a movement towards them,” just as we have moved more closely toward each other since that first day when Love laid his hand upon us. He continues to hold us in His hand until this moment and as He will for all Time.

Hold me close to you tonight my lovely and most beloved woman; though you are not perfect in your own eyes, you are in mine. That perfection is the perfection of Love in its more pure state, that which exists between us. Hold me close to you tonight my lovely, no dream you could possibly have will surpass the love I hold for you.

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My Light and my Love –

You move me and touch me as nothing ever has my love. It is not just the love you give me, but it is your innate and total understanding of Love, what it truly is and what it truly does, that humbles me at your feet and at the feet of Love itself.

I understand the Sufi’s passion for Love, the Hedonist’s pursuit of pleasure, and the ancients Greek’s understanding of Love; but, not until one lonely, dark night did I understand Love itself. Then a few scant words from your lips and the touch of your heart upon mine brought about revelation to my soul. In that moment, in your eyes, I saw the truth of all the Love that has ever existed my precious.

Love is the moving of two bodies in Time and Space, drawn together as surely as the stars are driven and drawn by gravity. I find myself moving toward you with a constancy and surety that are as inevitable as the sunrise. The truth of Love that I have found in your heart causes me to tremble, both in joy and understanding. Your heart is taking me places I did not know existed my beloved Sophia.

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My dearest and most beautiful Sophia -

There are times when I see men looking at you, and I must confess that I am as guilty as they. I find myself looking at you in adoration, in appreciation, and in humbleness to your beauty. You are tall and fair of face, sharp featured and dark in a way that can cause even trees to tremble in your presence; but, that is not the true beauty I find in you.

No one else, I don't believe, has ever seen that true beauty that I have found; the compassion you feel for others, the purity of feeling you have for your God, your joy of Life, and, most of all, at least from my perspective, the great and passionate love you show me all the time, without flinching and without failing. I am, beyond any question, the most fortunate man on this earth.

You go to much trouble to be beautiful for me, and I appreciate the effort my precious love; but, you should know, that in my truest of true hearts, I see the greater beauty of you and it is that which has so completely taken my breath and my heart away from me. You are, without any question, beautiful among all women - more importantly, you are, without any question, the most beautiful woman my soul has ever beheld and I do love you so dearly for that.

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My passionate and beloved Sophia –

Tonight, I lay by the fire on this lonely plain, thousands of miles from you and all of that which is our home. As I have looked upward at the heavens, I have come to know that when 1,000 moons have risen over 10,000 lovers prayers, then, only then, will I have just begun to perceive the love we possess.

This bright and radiant place we create, but it is beyond light, beyond words or space, and only to us does it exist. Our vision came on that cherished night of Oneness, when we placed our hearts under sacred Oath as we stared into each other’s Souls - our hearts exchanged at Love’s chanterie.

Polaris peers down on me tonight, clarifying the future as surely as the Pythia at Delphi or the vision of Tiresias of old. Tomorrow I begin the journey to the sea, to join the ship that will bring me home to you my most beloved one. One step closer to the Oracle of Oneness we have been promised.

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My most beautiful and beloved Sophia,

Strains of violin, of cello, and
My voice freezes on my tongue
My feelings paralyze in my soul,
Not from fear but from the
Deep emotion my heart feels for you.

You are sunlight at Dawn,
Fresh rain in the Spring;
I have come to realize
You are all thing precious and fine
And I love you so very dearly.

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My precious and adored Sophia –

Life has sent me far afield my beloved, but not without your heart living within my heart and your soul living within my soul. At home today, it is a time when there may be snow, I know how much you love those days and smile at the thought of the joy it brings you. I find myself far flung to warm western climes where snow exists only in the stories told by young girls and the failing memories of old men.

There is a bird here known to the natives as Peregrine, he is faster than the wind, and though smallish, he is a fierce raptor. In the last month, I have made friends with one, feeding him each morning and sending him on his way; each evening he sleeps on a perch outside my tent. Three days ago as he sat on my wrist I told him of you, of the love and passion in my heart for you, and as I fed him I asked him to take this message to you. Then, as I always do, I launched him into the wind. He turned to the East, to you, and I have not seen him again. If a small, fierce bird appears, do not harm him, but feed him and listen to his words, they are mine to you.

Though this land is unsettled and uncivilized, it is verdant and beautiful, untouched by the greedy and careless hands of man. The natives are simple, but honest and people of great honor, you would approve of them and like them I think. My day is now beginning and I must be about my doings, which I will do with thoughts of you, as always, deeply in my heart and my soul, my precious beloved Sophia.

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My lovely Sophia -

Today as we were walking along the street, a young boy of 8 ran by. Before he went very far, he tripped, fell and skinned his knee; it was bleeding and he was crying. Without hesitation you tore the bottom off your petticoat, soaked it under the nearest running water and went to his aid. I watched as you wrapped his wound and hugged him until he stopped crying; this vagabond child of a vagabond father, assuaged under your loving hand.

Constantly, your immeasurable beauty confounds me. And, just as constantly I am reminded of God’s good grace which has placed you by my side. My love for you abides deeply within me, and that which abides in me, abides forever. I am no different than that vagabond son, at the mercy of your aid, your limitless love shepherding me through the countless pains of life.

I owe Life the debt of love, may I never fall behind in my payments to you, its conservator.

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My beautiful and beloved -

Spring had arrived and rains were heavy; I sat at the edge of the swift running stream and watched as shining stones, one after another, washed to the banks, unearthed from the layers of mud which had held them captive for so long. It caused me to consider you my love, and what you have done for me.

The way you gave yourself to me before witnesses; the way you gave yourself to me with no witnesses; and, the way you have given of yourself to me every day of my Life since then. You have washed me as clean as these stones, freeing my soul from captivity. Your love and devotion cleansing me of all the scars and misery I carried about with me for so long.

I do not need to cross this stream today my love, I need only to come home to you.

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My modest Sophia –

Your facets never cease to amaze me; always attempting to hide your beauty from the world in true modesty. Even as well as we know one another, I only now find that you are such a talented vocalist my precious one. I have heard you sing before, but always a muted song – a song sung truly but softly.

Last night you finally allowed me to hear your full voice and it is so beautiful in range and tone and in passion. No songbird of Nature ever sang a sweeter song my love, with notes so pure, so true; the passion of your tune touching me as only a song of such intense passion can do my beautiful Sophia.

When your song was finished you said you were embarrassed for having sung so passionately with me listening; but I am not embarrassed for listening to your sweet notes. No, now that I know the lyrics that spilled from your lips, I feel only the urge to join you in duet my love. Though your singing did disturb my sleep until quite late, this morning finds me awake and fit and more in love with you than ever my precious.

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My most wondrous Sophia -

It is the early Spring time of our relationship; I know you are frightened, if not frightened, then apprehensive of my intentions. We have attended church twice and a dance, but you can already read in me that which I cannot define as yet. All I know is that I am smitten by you as I have never imagined such things could be.

You do not know, and I cannot say, that you are in such control of me. I look into your eyes and I see a thousand tomorrows, no, ten thousand; yet, I must try and focus on this day. As you stood across the church yard yesterday, talking with the other young women, you would occasionally look in my direction, catching me staring each time. You smiled and my heart withered, what is happening to me?

If you knew you already possessed my heart, my soul, my thoughts, my dreams, my hopes, and my endless fidelity, would you think me weak or foolish; they are all yours. And, while I cannot define what is burning in my heart for you, I already know that I do not want to be apart from you, ever. I think I am in love with you Sophia, it has sneaked upon me like a storm in the night, waking me with its power and persistence.

When you look across the church yard at me, I would think your glance would be questioning, wondering if I am a sham, but it is not. You know. Your smallest glance lets me know that you have read me like a book and you are deciding my Fate as a judge in the Court of Life.

I stand accused. I am guilty.

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My lovely and wonderful Sophia-

I can see you know, as you open this letter, but you will not read it just yet. You will make sure it is a letter and act as if you are reading it if there others around, but I know you will not read it until late tonight, when you are alone in our bedroom. Once you are alone, you will open the envelope slowly, as if it is an epistle from our Father and then in all loving respect slowly lay these pages out on the desk by the window overlooking your rose garden.

You will read these words very slowly, letting them flow through your mind like melted honey so that you don’t miss a single nuance of what I am writing to you. After you have finished reading it through, you will hold it in those soft and loving hands and stare at it with that pensive expression you possess at times. You will then put it back in it’s envelope as if it were God’s own words and store it in your box for letters and put it away.

In the darkness you will gaze out into the abyss of the night and then you will put your head down on the desk and you will cry in silence so that only the angels can hear you, begging for my safe return to you. Before God, I miss you and I love you to a degree that may not be allowed a mortal man, but I am unrepentant.

As I rode this lonely road home this morning, I stopped by a stream so that my horse could rest and have water. While we rested I spotted a daffodil, such as the ones you planted around the front of the house last year; I took it into my hands and thought of you with such intensity that I could not keep from weeping.

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My beautiful Sophia –

Have you noticed how people tremble in our presence my love? Have you noticed that our love radiates outwardly so that they seem burned as by the intense summer sun - yet we bask in it as a new Spring day. Today, you caused me to understand.

You bring such joy to my life my darling; I am overwhelmed with the immensity of your love for me. When I came in from the field today I found the roses you had picked for me; you know how I love them so and I was touched by the sentiment. It was not until I went to wash up that I understood.

Soaking in the sink I found a small towel, with small blood stains all over it, your blood. I came to you and held your hands, silently turning them over to see your palms, where there were dozens of cuts from where you had picked the roses for my pleasure. I had no choice but to kneel in the presence of such love my precious. You gave me pleasure through your pain; I am humbled my beautiful Sophia, humbled and blessed my love.

I think of so many ways when you "pick roses for me" each day. My Sophia, my precious beloved Sophia.

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My Most Precious Sophia –

It is Valentine’s Day and the loneliness I feel today, being apart from you, is almost unbearable. This war has gone on far too long my beloved. It has been so long since I felt the touch of your hand in the darkness, your kiss at first light, or heard your laughter as we walked in the simple fields of home.

All around me they fall, friend and foe alike. But when I hear their misery at night, I tell you true, I cannot tell them apart. They are all miserable men who want to go home to their wives; as I am become a miserable man who wishes nothing but to return to you my most beloved one. I and my enemy are become one, drinking from the cup of loneliness and despair.

You are constantly with me; you are the air that I breathe, the sunlight on a bitter winter’s day, and the rare laughter that visits this dismal existence in which I find myself. Yet, there are times when I awake on a cold night, trapped in this Hell, when I can hear the sound of your breathing, I can taste you on my tongue, and feel the touch of your thigh in the bitter darkness that surrounds me.

Though I am so far apart from you, know that I will not profane the sacred love that you have given me. Long ago we mutually approached Love’s altar and placed upon it our Love, yours and mine to be sacrificed on the Pyre that Love burns. The smoke of that burning rises up unto Heaven and our Father God finds it fragrance pleasant and in turn blesses our sacrifice made to Him and to each other.

My eyes have become dry and my mouth has become mute, only my Soul and my Heart continue, and they are in a constant state of Love for you that approaches idolatry in its devotion my Precious. I will return to you, and, I will never again leave your side.

All of my love is only yours, My Holy and Adored Love.

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My most beloved Sophia, Precious Love, Breath of Life,

Let no tears stain your beauty in thought of this moment not realized – no, but see the morning when my ship shall sail into the harbor with white sails billowing.
As Mr. Wordsworth wrote -
“Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting – The Soul that rises within us, hath elsewhere had its setting and cometh from afar.
We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind, in the primal sympathy which having been, must ever be – In the Faith that looks through Death.”

My Sophia, My Precious and Fervent One, My Only One ....

To you, All my love.


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This night of early November is one that will never be forgotten my Sophia (already I call you mine, though we’ve just met). From the time Robert and Mary introduced us, I have known that my life will never be the same. I find that though we only shared those two dances and brief conversation, my entire being is changed, altered forever in the scheme of Time.

When my cousin Mary introduced you to me and you turned to face me, I lost my breath. I know you thought me a fool, stuttering as I did and only able to say “Hello,” though the purest thoughts of a thousand poets were pulsing through my veins. Remember when we were dancing and I said, “You must be an ….” And then my voice froze and I felt like a total fool.

What I wanted, with all loving sincerity to say was, “You must be an angel, because I know that our Father God has never made a woman so perfectly.” Looking into your eyes at that moment I was afraid if I said that to you I would only frighten you into running away; and if you ran away, I knew that I would consign myself to a life of emotional poverty never known to man before.

And now, for the past two days I have not slept. I have ridden my horse all day and sat around an open fire in the forest at night, unable to slow my mind long enough to find sleep. Am I a fool? I have only met you and find that I cannot bear the thought of my life without you.

As I gaze into this fire on this cool autumn night, I do not smell the aroma of burning oak, but of Love’s fire in its forging of us together. I find myself frightened of my own cloistered thoughts. On Sunday, I will find my way to the church where I know you will be with cousin Mary and perhaps I can bask once again in the beauty of your soul; perhaps I will seem less of a fool, but I doubt it.

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