Rest my adored one, my Sophia –

You went to bed so early tonight, in fact, you have slept much of the last few days because you are ill; I hate it when you are because I can do nothing about it except try to make you feel better (I am told I am not a very good nurse at times) and protect you from that which would harm you (illness is something I seem to have no power over).

As you sleep, I have come to sit on the back porch and rest and ponder the day and try to determine how I will boost your spirits tomorrow as we slowly nurture you back to your normal self. It is slightly overcast tonight, the full moon behind a haze, but not so much a real haze; difficult to explain, but it is like your eyes are some mornings when you first awaken, your eyes frosted over for just a few seconds.

Even under this frosty haze of moonlight on this cool November night, I see the one remaining yellow rose in your flower garden. I noticed it’s solitary beauty earlier today and am amazed that even in the cold of this night, even under the fogginess of the light of this moon, it is still brilliant in it’s beauty. This realization brings tears to my soul’s eyes as I think of you.

The realization that has come to my attention in fullness is that even though you are ill and have been for days, there has not been a single moment when you have failed to let me know how much you love me. There has not been one minute, even as you fell asleep with your fever, when you have when your spirit has loosened its grip upon my heart; your last words before you fell asleep tonight were, “I love you, is it ok if I go to sleep and we can talk in the morning?” you have no idea how many times you humble me before the beauty of your soul.

So sleep my precious angel, rest and be better tomorrow. Yes, we will talk tomorrow and I will listen with the ears of adoration which are due you. I will see you through the eyes of love that are totally biased to see only your beauty, your gentleness, your affection and the truth you tenderly salve upon me each day. I do not know why God found me worthy to be in your life, but I am glad he did. I suppose He knew that I would love you as few women have ever been loved and that He would bind us in His spirit always And, I suppose He knew that I would love you without change until the universe grinds to a stop one day.. Sleep my love, sleep, I love you.


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My beloved and loving Sophia -

Did you hear my heart beat last night as you lay your head on my chest to go to sleep? Did you hear it calling your name with each beat?

When you reached over to hold my hand just before sleep claimed you for the night did you feel the warmth of my soul? Did you feel it reaching for you in the middle of the night?

Just at the moment you went to sleep did you feel my kiss on your forehead and my whisper to you? A whisper to remind you, "That no other woman in the world is loved more than you are by me?"

It is cold tonight, an early winter night, and we are warmly tucked beneath what feels like 85 woolen blankets you have upon the bed. You are warmly bound in the lavender flannel gown that keeps you so warm. You are already asleep, yet I linger awake just a few minutes more. In those few minutes I feel your warmth against my side as I hold you close to me; I feel your breath upon my chest, gentle and steady in the darkness.

So many days and moments of love I recall that we have shared and I feel myself wanting to weep from the joy of knowing; of knowing that "No other man in the world is loved more than I am by you."

I know that some day the sky will fall, the sun will fail, and the stars will (one by one) blink out of existence; but at this moment it is Eternity and in this eternity there is nothing else in the universe except you and me and the love we feel for one another. Sleep well my precious darling, I love you.

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Sophia, my beautiful, my beloved –

Tell me; in how many ways can I say to you, “I love you!” - please tell me. I do not want to leave any one of them unsaid, either with my lips or with my soul. When you wake in the morning, before you even have time to open your eyes, I want you to feel the love I have for you. As you go through your day, no matter what happens, I want you to remember that my love is with you, never faltering for forgetting. When you go to sleep at night, I want the last thought you have to be of the love my soul feels for you. Even when you sleep, in your dreams, know that I am there loving you my darling.

Do you know that from the first time I said “I love you” until this very moment there has never been a time when I have not loved you? There has never a time when I did not go through the day feeling this ever-present love for you in my thoughts, in my actions, in every thing I do. There has never been a time where I did not feel your love for me as I made decisions, large and small, that would influence everything from what I had for lunch to life altering events.

You are my world, my life, you are that there is. I do not remember what life was like before I fell in love with you, it seems like another lifetime. I do not remember what I wanted from life before; since I fell in love with you I only want you, that is all my life needs to be complete.

Last night, I asked you to sing me to sleep and you laughed because you do not like your voice singing, but I love it. I lay there with my eyes closed as you sang that little song I like so much, the one about the boat, and smiled in my heart thinking about how lucky I am to be the object of such love as you give to me. So please, if I haven’t forgotten some way in which to tell you “I love you,” remind me my wonderful one; I don’t want to let anyone of them go unmentioned. You are the light in my eyes, the beat of my heart, you are all life and happiness and I love you more than I can say.


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Sophia, my precious and beloved Sophia –

I have never known if you fell in love with me because of my golden heart or my silver tongue (yes, I am being facetious), but there are times when my normal ability to verbally describe things in exacting detail fails me. Those times, without exception, are when I try to tell you how much I love you, how much I adore you, how worthless my life would be without you in it – I might as well be a mute when those things happen. The words I can find are nowhere nearly sufficient to tell you these things.

Earlier this evening I sat out back as I am prone to do most nights (must be my rural upbringing), and I heard the song of the frogs at night. It is not so much a song as a constant sound of the night and it reminded me of you and the love you give me without cease and without fail. It too is not so much a song as it is a constant. It is your gentle hand on my brow and your tender words in my ear. More than anything else, it is the serenity of spirit you bring upon me in times of turmoil.

I don’t know if I have ever told you or not, so let me tell you this now. Let me tell you in words that I can master and you can understand. In this life, I have never met another woman like you, one who would be your equal. In fact, I lived most of my life not knowing there could be a woman like you. This is the honesty of my heart speaking to you because I want you to know and never doubt how I feel about you. No angel of Heaven could be more beautiful of face or of spirit than you are to me, it would not be possible. No dream, waking or sleeping, could be more complete than you are in the reality of my day.

I love you.

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My Sophia, my love eternal -

Never again will I see the sun setting over water and not feel the passion of your love for me; not after watching you cry from the shear beauty of that act of nature. The beauty that fills your soul is, I have found over time, immeasurable. This single, simple act of the sun lowering itself into water, extinguishing itself for the day, moved you so deeply. I don’t know if you were moved by the beauty of the scene or if you were moved by the fact that the sun would not see things in the darkness; it does not matter, your tears were sincere and beautiful. As I held you close to me we said not a word and I did not attempt to wipe the tears from your face; tears of love and of joy are supposed to stay there.

Never will you hear the cello again in the same way. You virtually forced me to go to that concert the other night, knowing how much I hate leaving our humble home after dark. Once we there and I quit fussing and that funny looking young man began to play, I was moved beyond anything I have ever known. With every note he played I felt my heart, my soul being extracted and attached to your heart and soul; by the time he finished playing that first song I belonged to you as I never had. Is that the first time you had seen me cry? Were you surprised? You held my hand in a way you never had and I knew we had crossed a new threshold in our love for one another.

Surely, a God who is kind and loving will not limit us to just one lifetime, how piteous that would be. For I have found that one lifetime will not nearly be enough to give to you all the love I feel, I do not know how many it will take to accomplish that feat. Now that I have seen your depth and felt my own, I realize that Life and all of Time is required of us both to finish this job and to carve our names in the annals of the great loves of this Universe.


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My Sophia, my love unrivaled -

Clouds were building as I left town and I probably should have stayed there in the hotel for the night, but I wanted so badly to come home to you. The morning had been sunny and beautiful so I had walked the three miles to town that perfect fall day; I had no idea it would be flooding by dark. About halfway home it began to rain and all I could do was put one muddy foot in front of the other and think of you as I trudged my way back to you. I walked listening to the rain as it fell on and about me and I swear as it did, I could hear its steady tattoo sounding out your name.

By the time I reached our front door I was soaked and muddy and grudgingly undressed on the porch. You had seen me coming from a distance and met me at the door with a warm towel and laughter. Still damp I stepped through the door into our living room as you dried me; and as I felt you attending to me with your loving hands, I could smell the lemon-scented air from the kitchen as you baked for me.

Sitting in front of the hearth warming, I heard you singing from the next room; your voice was ascending in an almost mystic tone. Drawn to you, I took your hand as you sang of a small boat and hope and dreams and love that lived without limits and without end and thought of how we were reborn to a new life everyday. I realized the depth of what we are and understood why I am not afraid of the rain.

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It is cloudy and cool today, a perfect afternoon for a nap, so I did lay down for awhile but found I could not find sleep. Restlessness was not the problem. In fact, the truth of the matter is there was no problem. No; I just found myself doing inventory of sorts and I thought I should tell what I found in that process.

You have given me your body, people do that everyday, sometimes even if they don’t even like each other. No, you have given me your body in a special way though; as if it is mine not only to enjoy and covet, but to hold and own as my possession. Don’t get me wrong, I am appreciative of your body. It is fair, pristine, beautiful and perfect in every way and I love it as I love you; but it is not at the top of the list.

More importantly, I found that indeed you have given me your heart to possess. It is a fine heart too. Filled with love and tenderness, compassion and beauty, it is a rarity in today’s world of cynical minds. You do not know how many times that pure and perfect heart of yours has changed my day, forced me to be calm when I didn’t want to, just from watching you.

Many things of beauty I found when doing this inventory that kept me from going to sleep. Your soul holds many things that are precious and rare – love for your fellow man, sure-footed faith, tears for children you don’t even know, active sympathy for men and women who have seen the harder parts of life; the list goes on and on.

Most of all, however, I find that you have given me your love. You have not loaned it to me so that you can reclaim it at some future date. You do no withdraw it on my bad days when I don’t even love myself. You do not alter it by fad or fashion. No; you just love me and keep loving me. I hear people talk about eternity and what it means to them. I believe God has given us to each other’s keep for that duration, because when I inventory your love for me, it seem to have no indication of end.

I could not go to sleep without telling you this. Sometimes you ask me if I know you love me; I do. Today, this inventory has forced me to look more intently at that which I find. So let me say, I do know how much you love me; I am amazed.

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Sleep my loving and tender Sophia -

You were so sleepy last night, lying in my arms trying to stay awake, trying to tell me things about your day, trying to tell me your dreams, trying to tell me over and over how you love me. At times your voice was so sleepy I could barely make out the words, at times you were on the cusp of wakefulness and sleep, at times telling me to hurry or I would miss the bus, at times telling me of visions that were there before your waking eyes; but mostly telling me how much you love me.

Then you fell asleep in my arms, mumbling and muttering, saying “I love you” one last time like it might be the last time your lips could utter that sound or that my ears would be able to hear them. But my love, that can never be, you know that as well as I do; our words have been chiseled into the stone of Time itself, and though others might question them, we do not. My soul will pursue yours throughout forever’s forever and yours will pursue throughout the endlessness of eternity.

In a few minutes I will come lie down and even in sleep you will come to me as if you hear my voice in your very dreams. You will put your arm over my chest and rest your heart in my heart. Tonight, my head hurts, my back hurts, and sometimes my soul hurts; but my heart does not hurt, for it is in your care. You lavish me with such love that all temporal matters vanish like fog on a bright winter’s morning, troubles becoming even less than a memory.

So sleep now my love, sleep in the beauty of what our souls have created in this life; sleep in the purity of that holy conception. Sleep in the full clarity of Us. I love you.


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My rare and beautiful Sophia, my love -

Tonight, I am sitting here looking over the back lawn into the woods beyond. I am looking past the pecan trees, the pear and peach trees, beyond the rabbits and the raccoons that gather for their nightly feast. I am looking past life and reality to a greater life and a greater reality. In the background, I hear music inside; you are sitting in front of the fireplace listening to saxophone music, so soothing, but I am hearing you sing that little song that you sing to me every night. It makes me smile.

Tonight, I think about your voice, soft and tender, speaking to my ear and to my heart with words earnest and sincere. In my life I have learned many truths, I have sought them out and learned them; but from you I have learned there is a truth beyond truth, I have learned there is unsought truth. It is the kind that sweeps in on the wind, shaking leaves from trees, warming the heart, touching the soul.

Tonight, I am trying to remember Time before I met you, it is difficult to do, I’m sure that a great deal of it did not matter. The only thing that matters now is you and the love I feel from you. I am a common man, but a common man to be envied by kings, if they only knew – I do know. I think I will leave outdoors to the rabbits and raccoons and go inside and listen to saxophone and see if you would care to dance and sing with me this night my love.


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Sophia - My darling, my love

I find I can do nothing but think of you today in such depth that I am consumed by these thoughts. I hear your voice on the wind, see your face in the light and shadows about me, feel you in my very heart. There are times when the weight of this feeling is almost too heavy to bear, even in the joy that it brings.

As the dove coos its 3-note cry, I hear your voice calling to me in the night; you are so tired you can hardly speak, yet you force the energy to say ‘I love you’ one more time. The struggle and desperation of your effort touches my heart, it is like you will die in your sleep if you do not speak the words one more time. And although I am holding you so close that we are like one flesh, when I hear this I hold you even closer in my own desperation; fearful that if I do not pull you ever closer you might vanish in the night.

When the morning comes and the fresh and gentle light of the new day greets my eyes, I am joyous in finding you still curled within my grasp. I clutch you softly to my side and you awake, just a little for just a moment, just long enough to say ‘I love you’ again, just in case I forgot during the night, just in case the gods should steal your voice before you lips could form the sound again. As you do, a smile captures your face and you return to sleep, placing your face upon my chest, feeding upon my heart beat as I feed upon the touch of your hair.


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Sophia gentle and precious

Tonight we are apart, but the miles cannot separate our hearts or the truth of us or the pure and complete love that exists between us and resides among the stars of the night. In the mists of this night, our vision is not clouded, but is as clear as the breaking of the new day.

During this late night hour I sit quietly under the half moon (whose light is paled by the light of your beauty) and see the dew form on the grass - I feel the light breeze of late night - I hear the small creatures of the night quietly practicing the commerce of life as a small creature. In the midst of this uncomplicated night I am profoundly reminded of the passion we share with such ease. We are as honeysuckle clinging gently but firmly to the tall pine that rises from the forest.

As I close my eyes to sleep this night, it will be your face I see, not only in my waking but in my sleeping. Dreams of you are so normal that I am shocked when I have sleep and they do not appear, after all this time your face does not leave me as I sleep, just as your love does not leave me when I am away from your vision.

So sleep soundly tonight my love, my thoughts are holding you as tightly as my arms and your whisper is touching my face as gently as your fingertips in the shadows before dawn. I rejoice in being half of this which heaven has created and our Father has blessed with his smile. We rest as a creation of the love that consumes us afresh each day, ever changing but always the same.

When dawn comes, I may still be sitting here; waiting to hear your voice on the breeze and feel your gentle touch in the rising sun, thinking that if these stones could speak, the story they would tell of us and the world would be astounded.

Sleep my precious and beloved Sophia –

In the middle of the night, while you sleep, I lie here and look at you with thoughts of love and wonder filling my head. But, when the words find my tongue they often taste as seawater, salty and incomplete. They are the bloody mouthed taste of a school yard brawl on a cloudy November day,
the swirl of breeze that carries emotions through life as dry leaves in the fall, or as a small nameless bird of immense beauty who dies on the wing and falls lifeless to the ground.

Accept my offering - it is the rising of Venus, of Aphrodite, on a dark and cloudless morning, it is the purity of an infant's sigh, it is God glancing toward you with a small, warm smile on His face. Only my love can I offer you, I have nothing else, there is nothing else that would serve as a worthy gift or sacrifice to lay at your feet, at the doorway of your heart.

What touch can I find that has not been shared between us? Which flower of color so original can I offer to you that is not shamed by your beauty? Which words can I say to you that have not been spoken? Can I just say, that I love you? Will you believe me when I tell you that if some unknown ogre chained me forever in a cave in a mountain at the top of the world, that I would still love you as I did the first time I loved you?

I love you. I hold you in my heart and in my soul. Every minute of every day since I met you; it never changes, it never will. So sleep as I sit here and watch you dream. Soon I will sleep too, and I will then dream of sitting and watching you sleep. There is no room left in my soul for thoughts of anything but you.

Come to me beloved Sophia and rest –

Put your head on my shoulder and your hand on my heart as I hold your hand with my hand and wrap my right arm around you so tightly; holding you so closely that your skin and my skin are wed into a single thing. You rest your foot on my leg and your hair is a mist upon my face.

The love between us is a Spring storm, powerful and bright; the gentle touch between us the heat of a white star; the whispers we share are the vastness of the entire universe – it is that way every night my precious love, never changing but to deepen.

Tonight, when I whispered to you that I loved you, it reached a part of you that was more profound than we had ever known. You did not speak a word, you did not move a single muscle – but I felt your teardrops falling upon my chest; in their warmth I felt your own truth and sincerity. In the darkness, our hands and our hearts clasp in unity to form a place of worship.

We will not dry them, that would be profane. Instead they will soak into my skin and find their way to my soul where they will abide forever, just as our love will abide in the stars for mankind to always remember. There are no questions to answer, no words need to be said; it is what it is my beloved.


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My Sophia, small and delightful –

Morning’s sun is rising over the oaks and pines as I sit and watch the day begin at the edge of our garden. Bright red birds flutter and sing at the joy of the return of light and life to the day. It’s color is almost the same as the brilliant orange canna you planted next to our window; you said you did that so that even on cloudy days we will rise to the color of the sun. Artistic and meaningful are the small grace notes you add to the life we live.

Inside, you are asleep, you small and perfect body curled in slumber as you clutch my pillow in my early morning absence. You are so small and the universe is so large; how have I managed to completely fill it with you my love? To me, the known universe resides in the gold within your eyes, within the softness of your hand, the tenderness in your voice when you tell me how much you love me. There is nothing outside those things, and if those things such cease to be, the universe would collapse in on itself.

For my breakfast I am having tomatoes from our garden, picked by your hands last evening and rough bread of corn which I baked for you last night. As I watch the beginning of the day I realize that from your eyes, from your heart, comes the perfection that is every star at night, in every vein of every leaf, every sound of laughter from every child ever born.

Then I will be off to my business for the day, returning tonight. During each moment of the day I will wonder how the universe is managing to stay intact while I am away from your presence, how is it that life continues without being able to look into your eyes, realizing how mundane are all things that occur in this world that do not involve loving you.

So small, how have you managed to fill the entire universe my beloved Sophia?


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My life and my breath, my precious Sophia –

In this darkness, I watch you sleep my wonderful love. I do not watch you with my eyes, but with the beat of my heart and the tips of my fingers. The gentleness of your heart surpasses even the softness of your skin, something which my senses as a man do not always comprehend. Your heart overflows with forgiveness for all who wrong you, even the scoundrels who neither deserve nor ask for clemency; so great is your heart.

Sleep my beautiful woman; sleep in the safety of my arms that hold you as surely as you hold my heart. Wake to a morning that is as gentle as the fog that will float upon the water at dawn. Sleep knowing that you were born for me and wake knowing that I was born for you. We were born, not in the momentary weakness of the flesh, but in the divine strength of the soul.

With marvel we have seen tomorrow, tasted of its richness, felt its fullness. Laying in the darkness this night, I would wake you to tell you my certainty of all these things, but I know how weary you are. It is now quiet as a chapel in the middle of the night and I will comfort myself with a kiss upon your brow and the smile that comes to your face my precious. I love you with more than words can say and you love me more fiercely than even my imagination can envision. We will not yield to tempest.

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My heart and my soul, my Sophia -

Tonight I sit outside in the cooling light breeze of this late summer night. Still not risen is the crescent moon that will soon be born of the night; for now, only the stars and the brightness of the love you give me lighting my night.

You are sleeping inside as I sit in peace out here, thinking of the great gift God has given to me by putting your hand into mine. Each day of my life I wonder how much sacrifice he will require of me in return for this greatest favor He has bestowed upon me - whatever it is, I will pay it gladly. I will pay it in return for you smiling face, your laughter, your love and, yes, even the tears you occasionally shed upon my shoulder.

Without any doubt you know of my love for you, it is so obvious it cannot be hidden or even shown to you in diminished fashion. Still, I search daily for another word, another phrase to tell you how deeply I feel for you. It is a depth that is rarely felt and never properly measured; it defies measurement or description.

So, in your dreams tonight, feel my love for you. When the new day begins feel my love for you in your waking dream. I will never fail to love you, it would not be possible. My love for you will last as long as Time exists, for as long as there is breath or thought or dream; beyond the measure of man will I love you. My precious Sophia, I simply love you as I ought to do - without measure, without fail, without limit.

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My most wonderful Sophia, my Aphrodite and my Venus, my beautiful love -

Surely God birthed our souls on the same day, at the same moment, and placed our souls and our hearts together to hold onto to one another until one day after all Time comes to an end. I am yours and you are mine, always.

You have dampened the fires that burned in me, fires that had long tortured my existence, all that time I was seeking you and now I have found you and the only fire that burns within me is the fire that burns for you. It is a fire lighted on an altar I had never known, a light I had sought but never seen. Your gift to my life has been this and will abide with me always and forever.

I have swallowed your tears, the ones that sometimes flow from you like a great river, it has tortured your existence, all that time I have been here to hold onto your soul and dry your tears, from your eyes and from your soul. It is a gift that I give to you; I care only for you wholeness, your healing, and your happiness. I offer this without reservation or condition. This has been my gift to your life and it will abide with you always and forever.

You are my precious and I am your baby, that is how it was destined and that is how it shall be; the Father will determine that path and the steps we take upon it. We will only walk and hold each other in love as we go. What we are, what we become is spiritually set and will not change, we will love each other forever, as it was ordained for us my beautiful love.

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Sophia my beautiful lover -

On autumn nights, when the weather is cool, we sit outside around a fire we have built to stay warm. We talk until our voices are slurred and our thoughts are lost, just to hear the other's voice; we fight sleep as an enemy because we do not want those minutes of our life stolen by unconsciousness. When morning comes, we find ourselves clutching one another closely, to fight off the cold and to feel the closeness with our bodies that lives in our minds.

People, at least some of them, think we are silly sometimes, when you come and sit in my lap like a little girl and I in turn rock you as I hold you and kiss you without shame or hesitation. We hold hands as we walk through their parties of sophistication, lost to everyone in the crowd except each other. The light of the moon at night is the only illumination we need, other than the light of love that shines in our eyes.

Some days we fuss; you like to see me a "little mad" at times and I sometimes like to get you a bit "wound up;" we fight, just a little, so that we can make up. But on nights when you are ill I do not fail you and on days when I am weak you do not fail to strengthen me. And people ask themselves, some even ask us, how can this miraculous thing have happened and we honestly tell them that we don't know. All we know, or will ever know, is that we love each now and we will love each other then.

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My gentle and lovely Sophia–

I find myself waking to the muted early light, making its way into our bedroom in a most languid manner this morning. You are still sleeping, curled tightly against me as you are every morning; I feel the texture of your hair on my chest and the warmth of your body against mine. My heart is overcome with the way you touch me my precious love.

You do touch me so – but it is not just the silken touch of your body against mine in the dark of night. With your heart and your soul you have touched me so deeply that I am a changed man, never could I ever be that which I was before; whatever that was, for I do not remember what I was before you touched me with your spirit so true. As you have held me in the touch of your hands, your unseen wings have silently carried me to places of love that I never knew existed.

And I know I too have touched you my love, I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. So come, rest your head on my shoulder and leave any pain of the day upon my chest, there is no rush to arise this morning my beautiful lover. As you have touched me with your soul, touch me with your body and let our pleasures number as the stars upon a clear fall night.

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My Sophia, my constant thought –

The day has begun and is so often the case I find myself sitting on the back porch waiting for the sun to rise while you continue to occupy the land of dreams, sleeping as peacefully as a small child. My wait is rewarded with the first ray of sun accompanied by one long bird graciously singing in the new day. It is then I fully recognize that I am of single thought, the thought of your prevails over all else. The thought of your all encompassing beauty of body and mind and spirit, one single thought in my mind you.

You think I am either a liar (at best) or mentally disturbed (at worst) because I tell you that every night my dreams are filled with you; but it is the truth. I do not remember the last night when I did not dream of you, a simple truth. My mind is so singularly filled with you that even in my sleeping state; I must continue to think of you almost constantly. Only you have driven the demons from my waking self and the nightmares of my sleeping self, only you.

Recently, we were talking, about us and life; suddenly you looked at me and said, “This is real.” Yes, it is real my precious beloved, it is as real as the stars that shine down at night and the heat of a summer’s day. What we feel is real, what we dream is real, and the blessing we have been given in one another is real. We are real; as surely as the simplicity of that first ray of sunlight I love you - as surely as the notes sung by that lone songbird you love me - we are real. We have made ourselves real and we have made ourselves true.

Bright morning sun now peeks into the world, revealing a brilliant orange rose in your garden, I will pick it and place it on your pillow for when you awaken. I will return and lie by your side so that when you wake, the rose and I will be there to welcome you to another day my love.

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