Sophia, my precious and beloved Sophia –

I have never known if you fell in love with me because of my golden heart or my silver tongue (yes, I am being facetious), but there are times when my normal ability to verbally describe things in exacting detail fails me. Those times, without exception, are when I try to tell you how much I love you, how much I adore you, how worthless my life would be without you in it – I might as well be a mute when those things happen. The words I can find are nowhere nearly sufficient to tell you these things.

Earlier this evening I sat out back as I am prone to do most nights (must be my rural upbringing), and I heard the song of the frogs at night. It is not so much a song as a constant sound of the night and it reminded me of you and the love you give me without cease and without fail. It too is not so much a song as it is a constant. It is your gentle hand on my brow and your tender words in my ear. More than anything else, it is the serenity of spirit you bring upon me in times of turmoil.

I don’t know if I have ever told you or not, so let me tell you this now. Let me tell you in words that I can master and you can understand. In this life, I have never met another woman like you, one who would be your equal. In fact, I lived most of my life not knowing there could be a woman like you. This is the honesty of my heart speaking to you because I want you to know and never doubt how I feel about you. No angel of Heaven could be more beautiful of face or of spirit than you are to me, it would not be possible. No dream, waking or sleeping, could be more complete than you are in the reality of my day.

I love you.

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My Sophia, my love eternal -

Never again will I see the sun setting over water and not feel the passion of your love for me; not after watching you cry from the shear beauty of that act of nature. The beauty that fills your soul is, I have found over time, immeasurable. This single, simple act of the sun lowering itself into water, extinguishing itself for the day, moved you so deeply. I don’t know if you were moved by the beauty of the scene or if you were moved by the fact that the sun would not see things in the darkness; it does not matter, your tears were sincere and beautiful. As I held you close to me we said not a word and I did not attempt to wipe the tears from your face; tears of love and of joy are supposed to stay there.

Never will you hear the cello again in the same way. You virtually forced me to go to that concert the other night, knowing how much I hate leaving our humble home after dark. Once we there and I quit fussing and that funny looking young man began to play, I was moved beyond anything I have ever known. With every note he played I felt my heart, my soul being extracted and attached to your heart and soul; by the time he finished playing that first song I belonged to you as I never had. Is that the first time you had seen me cry? Were you surprised? You held my hand in a way you never had and I knew we had crossed a new threshold in our love for one another.

Surely, a God who is kind and loving will not limit us to just one lifetime, how piteous that would be. For I have found that one lifetime will not nearly be enough to give to you all the love I feel, I do not know how many it will take to accomplish that feat. Now that I have seen your depth and felt my own, I realize that Life and all of Time is required of us both to finish this job and to carve our names in the annals of the great loves of this Universe.


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My Sophia, my love unrivaled -

Clouds were building as I left town and I probably should have stayed there in the hotel for the night, but I wanted so badly to come home to you. The morning had been sunny and beautiful so I had walked the three miles to town that perfect fall day; I had no idea it would be flooding by dark. About halfway home it began to rain and all I could do was put one muddy foot in front of the other and think of you as I trudged my way back to you. I walked listening to the rain as it fell on and about me and I swear as it did, I could hear its steady tattoo sounding out your name.

By the time I reached our front door I was soaked and muddy and grudgingly undressed on the porch. You had seen me coming from a distance and met me at the door with a warm towel and laughter. Still damp I stepped through the door into our living room as you dried me; and as I felt you attending to me with your loving hands, I could smell the lemon-scented air from the kitchen as you baked for me.

Sitting in front of the hearth warming, I heard you singing from the next room; your voice was ascending in an almost mystic tone. Drawn to you, I took your hand as you sang of a small boat and hope and dreams and love that lived without limits and without end and thought of how we were reborn to a new life everyday. I realized the depth of what we are and understood why I am not afraid of the rain.

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It is cloudy and cool today, a perfect afternoon for a nap, so I did lay down for awhile but found I could not find sleep. Restlessness was not the problem. In fact, the truth of the matter is there was no problem. No; I just found myself doing inventory of sorts and I thought I should tell what I found in that process.

You have given me your body, people do that everyday, sometimes even if they don’t even like each other. No, you have given me your body in a special way though; as if it is mine not only to enjoy and covet, but to hold and own as my possession. Don’t get me wrong, I am appreciative of your body. It is fair, pristine, beautiful and perfect in every way and I love it as I love you; but it is not at the top of the list.

More importantly, I found that indeed you have given me your heart to possess. It is a fine heart too. Filled with love and tenderness, compassion and beauty, it is a rarity in today’s world of cynical minds. You do not know how many times that pure and perfect heart of yours has changed my day, forced me to be calm when I didn’t want to, just from watching you.

Many things of beauty I found when doing this inventory that kept me from going to sleep. Your soul holds many things that are precious and rare – love for your fellow man, sure-footed faith, tears for children you don’t even know, active sympathy for men and women who have seen the harder parts of life; the list goes on and on.

Most of all, however, I find that you have given me your love. You have not loaned it to me so that you can reclaim it at some future date. You do no withdraw it on my bad days when I don’t even love myself. You do not alter it by fad or fashion. No; you just love me and keep loving me. I hear people talk about eternity and what it means to them. I believe God has given us to each other’s keep for that duration, because when I inventory your love for me, it seem to have no indication of end.

I could not go to sleep without telling you this. Sometimes you ask me if I know you love me; I do. Today, this inventory has forced me to look more intently at that which I find. So let me say, I do know how much you love me; I am amazed.

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Sleep my loving and tender Sophia -

You were so sleepy last night, lying in my arms trying to stay awake, trying to tell me things about your day, trying to tell me your dreams, trying to tell me over and over how you love me. At times your voice was so sleepy I could barely make out the words, at times you were on the cusp of wakefulness and sleep, at times telling me to hurry or I would miss the bus, at times telling me of visions that were there before your waking eyes; but mostly telling me how much you love me.

Then you fell asleep in my arms, mumbling and muttering, saying “I love you” one last time like it might be the last time your lips could utter that sound or that my ears would be able to hear them. But my love, that can never be, you know that as well as I do; our words have been chiseled into the stone of Time itself, and though others might question them, we do not. My soul will pursue yours throughout forever’s forever and yours will pursue throughout the endlessness of eternity.

In a few minutes I will come lie down and even in sleep you will come to me as if you hear my voice in your very dreams. You will put your arm over my chest and rest your heart in my heart. Tonight, my head hurts, my back hurts, and sometimes my soul hurts; but my heart does not hurt, for it is in your care. You lavish me with such love that all temporal matters vanish like fog on a bright winter’s morning, troubles becoming even less than a memory.

So sleep now my love, sleep in the beauty of what our souls have created in this life; sleep in the purity of that holy conception. Sleep in the full clarity of Us. I love you.


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My rare and beautiful Sophia, my love -

Tonight, I am sitting here looking over the back lawn into the woods beyond. I am looking past the pecan trees, the pear and peach trees, beyond the rabbits and the raccoons that gather for their nightly feast. I am looking past life and reality to a greater life and a greater reality. In the background, I hear music inside; you are sitting in front of the fireplace listening to saxophone music, so soothing, but I am hearing you sing that little song that you sing to me every night. It makes me smile.

Tonight, I think about your voice, soft and tender, speaking to my ear and to my heart with words earnest and sincere. In my life I have learned many truths, I have sought them out and learned them; but from you I have learned there is a truth beyond truth, I have learned there is unsought truth. It is the kind that sweeps in on the wind, shaking leaves from trees, warming the heart, touching the soul.

Tonight, I am trying to remember Time before I met you, it is difficult to do, I’m sure that a great deal of it did not matter. The only thing that matters now is you and the love I feel from you. I am a common man, but a common man to be envied by kings, if they only knew – I do know. I think I will leave outdoors to the rabbits and raccoons and go inside and listen to saxophone and see if you would care to dance and sing with me this night my love.


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Sophia - My darling, my love

I find I can do nothing but think of you today in such depth that I am consumed by these thoughts. I hear your voice on the wind, see your face in the light and shadows about me, feel you in my very heart. There are times when the weight of this feeling is almost too heavy to bear, even in the joy that it brings.

As the dove coos its 3-note cry, I hear your voice calling to me in the night; you are so tired you can hardly speak, yet you force the energy to say ‘I love you’ one more time. The struggle and desperation of your effort touches my heart, it is like you will die in your sleep if you do not speak the words one more time. And although I am holding you so close that we are like one flesh, when I hear this I hold you even closer in my own desperation; fearful that if I do not pull you ever closer you might vanish in the night.

When the morning comes and the fresh and gentle light of the new day greets my eyes, I am joyous in finding you still curled within my grasp. I clutch you softly to my side and you awake, just a little for just a moment, just long enough to say ‘I love you’ again, just in case I forgot during the night, just in case the gods should steal your voice before you lips could form the sound again. As you do, a smile captures your face and you return to sleep, placing your face upon my chest, feeding upon my heart beat as I feed upon the touch of your hair.


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